BARDINESS

Spoof Time Magazine Covers fool the Philippines twice in three weeks!

Recently the Philippines Daily Inquirer fell foul of a hoax "Time" magazine cover naming President Aquino as one of the 100 most influential people in the world.

They duly tucked their tail between their legs and apologised for being duped.

 Yesterday that didn't prevent a plethora of journalists, bloggers, and correspondents failing to learn the same lesson and were duped by a another fake "Time" magazine cover stating that the Philippines was the "most stupid country for electing a 20-year old as a Senator" in the recent mid-term elections.

Mount Mayon erupts - with fatal consequences.........

"Mayon volcano is an enigmatic personality. The more she does this, the more they will come. The more the danger, the more the tourists."

So says Albay Governor Joey Salceda, after Mount Mayon gave a 73-second explosion killing five climbers on 7th May 2013.

The state seismologist said the explosion was triggered when the rainwater made contact with hot ash deposits on the crater mouth. That makes sense - a bit like adding water to a sizzling frying pan.

It's rather unfortunate that Governor Salceda couldn't have chosen his words more appropriately. eg "This is a terrible tragedy. My sympathies go out to the victims and their families. We will do everything to learn from this, and investigate how this appalling accident occurred." Ok - it's a stock response, in the files of every person in a high position of public service - but not in Salceda's. No, to him it will bring more tourists. If that’s not what he meant it’s certainly how it sounded.

Captain Cook and the USS Guardian...

In 1770 Captain Cook's HMS Endeavour grounded on the unchartered waters of the Great Barrier Reef and got stuck.

Through exceptional seamanship he lightened his load and with a severely damaged hull was able to free his ship, and nurse her towards a safe harbour for repairs.

He had no state of the art navigation, no electronic devices, no sea-bed imaging and no satellite communication.

On January 17, 2013, the USS Guardian, a 223ft minesweeper, costing $277 million, commanded by Lt. Cmdr. Mark Rice, ran aground on the Tubbataha Reef, in the Philippines.

The Pope, the Philippines, Argentina and the British......

 

Hey! Smoking is bad for your health!

The Via Crucis is the re-enactment of Christ's crucifixion on Good Friday.

Held in San Fernando, Pampanga, Philippines, it has become famous for people being nailed to the cross.

There are currently 34 men enlisted to participate, with an estimated 50,000 people, from home and abroad, expected to visit and observe.

Known as "Maleldo" (Holy Week), it will be held in the last seven days of March.

This year will involve more security and traffic control, and steel railings will be in place surrounding the crucifixion site, because the chicken wire used last year proved useless against the ever growing crowd of onlookers.

Well at least they are not using barbed wire. In addition there will be a higher presence of medical tents and emergency vehicles.

The Harlem Shake - Choreomania

 

"Get off! This is the Harlem Shake not Gangnam!" 

There's an outbreak of exhibitionism going on, which involves people losing their sanity and gyrating like demented chimpanzees.

There used to be a medical term for this: St Vitus' Dance.

Also known as "Dancing Mania", it was a social phenomenon that particularly occurred in Europe during the 14th and 17th centuries. It involved groups of people dancing erratically.

It's also been known as "epidemic dancing" and scientists described it as a "collective mental disorder", "collective hysterical disorder" and "mass madness". Historically previous records indicate that they took place in times of hardship.

There were also suggestions that people suffered from some kind of poisoning, stress, or tension caused by natural disasters - a collective shared stress, and many danced to relieve themselves of the stress and poverty of the times. Another popular theory is that the outbreaks were all staged.

Yet here we are in the 21st Century and a similar thing is happening. What is possessing seemingly normal people to behave like blithering idiots, from a plane load of people hysterically dancing in the aisles at 30,000 feet, to miners underground in Australia - most of whom have been fired as a consequence? Why would people risk losing their jobs, ignoring health and safety, just to expose themselves as a bunch of lunatics seeking attention on the internet?

Prince Philip in hot water over the Philippines

 

"Just put it there pal!"

Prince Philip has hit the headlines again in his own inimitable style, with what some consider another of his famous gaffes.

 

Renowned for his jokey persona he tends to dispel the restrictions of diplomatic speak and just pops up with the first thing which enters his head.

And why not? He's 91 years old with a great sense of humour.

Some perceive his words as racist or insulting (not normally by those on the receiving end) and it's the media who run with them trying to make a story out of nothing.

Philip is reported as saying to a Filipina nurse that he thinks her country must be half empty as most are over here in the UK running the NHS (note he said "running"). I suspect he meant it as a compliment - after all, he spent a lot of time in hospital since the Queen's Jubilee Pageant on the Thames where he was getting soaked to the skin and having his royal bollocks frozen off, so he probably saw first-hand the various nationalities employed as health care staff, and clearly they made an impression on him.

Crocodile Tears for Lolong

 

In September 2011 I wrote about the largest saltwater crocodile captured alive (King Croc Down Mindanao Way).

 That post highlighted the efforts of the villagers in a remote area of Mindanao in the Philippines, to hunt down the creature because it was extremely dangerous.

Having ensnared it, the local mayor proposed to turn it into a tourist attraction, much to the consternation of wildlife groups.

Sadly 16 months down the line, their fears have been realised. Lolong is dead.

Solar Superstorm and Asteroid 2012 DA14

Another end of the world scenario hoves into view - not quite Armageddon but one which will cause much inconvenience.

The warnings of a solar superstorm are particularly relevant today.

They occur every hundred years or so and the last one was back in 1859. The world was in gas-light then, and industry was powered by steam.

There was no telephone network, cellular or otherwise, and the only satellite in orbit was the Moon.

So no aircraft, no GPS, no computers, no internet, and no electricity, ergo no power stations.

Yes, solar superstorms happened in the past, but it would merely have been a storm in a teacup.

Janine Tugonon brings the House down!

Word count: 800. Reading Time: 3 minutes. 

As if the Philippines House of Representatives didn't have enough to discuss, they found time recently to suspend business in order to honour Janine Tugonon. 

What has the 23 year old achieved in order to earn this prestigious commendation?

Did she win the Nobel Peace Prize? Is she in the vanguard to alleviate poverty? Does she head up a charity to fight world hunger? Has she discovered a cure for malaria? Has she devoted half of her life to campaign on the environment? is she a UNICEF Ambassador?

Sadly none of these things - she has in fact achieved something much more worthwhile, she was the first runner up in the Miss Universe pageant.

Move down ladies and gents - Knife wielding incident at Buckingham Palace!

"They're changing the guard at Buckingham Palace; a man got tasered and went down with malice"